I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
