I want to have your abortion
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
