Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
