your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
