Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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