I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
