You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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