are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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