I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
