after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
