There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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