As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
