Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
