Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
