How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
