I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
