cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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