I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
