Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Randomize
