and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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