Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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