Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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