tequila makes me forget i have legs
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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