I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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