He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
