Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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