ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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