If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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