i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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