Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
