Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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