Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
