I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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