you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
