I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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