Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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