He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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