remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
