Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
