Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
