I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Actions speak louder than pants.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
