ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
