Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
time to smoke my breakfast
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am one with the molecules
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
