So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
