the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this boner is exhausting
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
