You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
