i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My dick has a subreddit
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
