Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
