She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
