this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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