Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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