Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
